Thursday, December 4, 2008

thank you for praying

Adam's surgery went well. It took quite a bit longer than we were initially expecting, but that's because when the surgeon opened up his hand (from the stitches the ER set for him last week) he noticed that Adam had indeed cut the tendon running through his index finger, in addition to a major nerve. The tendon and nerve were able to be repaired, but the artery couldn't be fixed - but we already knew that. Thankfully there are two arteries in your index finger, and he only cut one. Because if he had cut both, he'd have lost the finger. So when the doctor said that, I really didn't have a comment, other than, "oh..." (long pause) "okay"..... (long pause) "uh that's a decent amount of perspective, huh". (not my finest moment in adult conversation, but what can I say... I was a bit stunned and thankful that stupid pickle jar didn't slice open both of those arteries! Anyway, back to the point. So the surgery went well. He did say that the way the tendon was injured, Adam will need quite a bit of physical therapy to help it heal correctly. Another surgery may be necessary down the road if his mobility doesn't regain itself completely, but we're going to pray against that needing to happen, (right?)! Adam was in quite a deal of pain when they moved him into recovery, so we were there for a couple of hours as they tried to get his pain level down. He's much more comfortable now, however, it's a different story when those pain meds wear off. All in all, he's doing well. He wanted me to tell you all a big THANK YOU for your prayers for him today. He certainly felt them...

As for Ethan.... well, I'm very happy (and thankful!) to report that his potassium level did in fact go down! We need this to continue over the next several weeks, but it's a blessing to me that it went down since Monday. But.... (don't you hate it when there's a but?!?) his sodium level also showed a very low number - which is not good. Low sodium can indicate kidney problems and cause seizures. I have to take him back up to the hospital tomorrow (Friday) to have his blood work re-done to ensure it wasn't an error from the lab. Since the number is much lower than usual, they are hoping it's just a fluke and that the re-test will show it to be fine (pray that it's a fluke!). However, (don't you hate howevers?!?!) if his sodium is in fact that low, he will have to be admitted for IV fluids and to have tests run to see what causing the sodium deficiency.

Needless to say, this probability did not make me happy. Spending the weekend in the hospital with Ethan, while Adam is at home alone still recovering from a pretty intense surgery... *sigh*... well, doesn't it make sense that I just want to stay home. Of course. I do. And I can't tell you how much anxiety there is at the thought/reality that at any given moment, for any given reason Ethan could be admitted again. I want so much for all of this to be behind us. To focus on Ethan being a little boy and concentrate on his development, milestones, growth. But unfortunately, most of his life, those things have had to take the back seat to a disease that I don't even feel like typing out right now. And yes, don't get me wrong, he has done AMAZINGLY and MIRACULOUSLY well (thank you, Jesus!). And I'm so thankful I could cry! But right now, I'm just an emotionally worn out chick who feels like feeling sorry for herself. Who is letting the thoughts of all that's been taken away from her (being a first time mom & wanting to experience certain things) get the best of her... instead of focusing on all that she's been given.

But don't worry... I've already told the Lord I'm sorry for my attitude.


huntsouth said...

It's so wonderful that there are mornings...And even though it might be a grey, New England morning, you realize that the Lord has been taking care of you all night, that you are still with Him and that He has a wonderful plan for your day...His plan. And that's always good, even when we are weary, weak and sad. I love that about the Lord, though there are so many times I've wanted to throw in the towel and just say, "I quit; take me Home now, please". He reminds me to enjoy what He's leading me through, like valleys...
God bless and strengthen you all.
Get some sleep.
The Lord will be watching you and interceding for you.
love, Amy

Jessi said...

Just wanted to let you know you've all been in my thoughts and prayers. I found your blog a while back (not sure through who) and have been praying for Ethan and your family.
You're faith is such an inspiration. Thanks for sharing your story.

Jennifer Wiser said...

Hey Kasey,
Haven't posted in a while, but I've been praying and reading each day. I can't believe that all this happened to your hubby - I am so sorry that you guys are having to deal with something else on top of what you have already been asked to "carry".

I was glad to hear that Ethan's potassium levels went down. We've had things like that happen a few times, where there was indeed a lab fluke and the level was correct after a re-test, lets pray that is EXACTLY what it is with the sodium.

I remember sometimes (and even still on occasion) asking God to just take us all Home instead of contintuing this earthly valley that we are walking, but then I'm gently reminded that this is ultimately for HIS glory and not for our convenience or comfortability.

I know we don't like when there is a "but", but you know what the best part of the post was, that you continue to be transparent before us and before the Lord. That you are real. We all are, Kasey, no one would go through what you are going through, and never just want to be a first time mom experiencing all those important dates, moments, and experiences, without the jaded backdrop of a major illness. Everyone would desire to be "normal", to have a healthy well child, and to maintain a healthy routine. And so, do you!

But the best part realize...after a bout with self-pity, a lot of tears, and good long talk with God (and of course, a blog post :-) that although you want those things, you ultimately want God to be pleased with your life and to be honored, even if you never get to experience the things you thought you would. You remember that you can have joy and rest in His plan even if it turns out to be completely different that we ever planned or expected.

Hugs and Love from Michigan,

Trey and Jennifer Powers said...

I'm glad that your boys are doing well. My husband had a similar surgery with his pinky finger a few years ago. You wouldn't think that a finger would cause so much pain but my husband was miserable after his surgery (when the pain meds were wearing off). I'm praying for Adam to have a quick recovery. Also praying for Ethans numbers to be where they need to be. I hope your family has a nice weekend.