Thursday, June 12, 2008

Reflection on prayer

I was thinking this morning about a conversation Adam and I had last weekend. We were having a good conversation about Ethan and the blessings we get to see first hand by being his parents. The more we talked, the more discouraged I was becoming about "prayer". I told Adam that the only thing I couldn't come to terms with in my mind was that in the first few days and weeks of Ethan's life, each middle of the night feeding (which was every 2 hours!), I prayed over Ethan's entire body. I may have even mentioned this before, but I would pray very specifically over him from head to toe. I prayed for his mind, eyes, ears, hands, arms, legs, feet - praying for his strength and ability in each area. I prayed for his lungs, his brain, his heart, his spine - everything. Praying earnestly for each and every area of his being, that I could think of, to be healthy.... praying God's protection over him completely.

I'm sure you can see where I am going with this.

So, when we found out that Ethan's blood had cancer violently swimming throughout his body, I felt as though my prayers were in vain. Of course I knew God heard my heartfelt prayers, but I felt like they were more or less ignored. A tinge of discouragement in the "power of prayer" settled into my heart that night and I've never fully gotten past it. As Adam and I were talking, I shared that confusion with him and the following words out of his mouth are words I will never forget. He said...

"Kasey, how do you know that God DIDN'T answer your prayers? Your prayers could have been what saved Ethan from immediately dying from this illness. Your prayers could have been giving him the strength his body needed to get through each day. And when it was time, God placed it upon your heart that something wasn't right with Ethan. He prompted you to take Ethan to the doctor, and that single act alone has saved and prolonged his life one more day. You don't know what your prayers may have actually done for Ethan, so don't assume that they didn't matter."

I never thought of it that way. And what a beautiful way to look at it. I couldn't believe the wisdom in my husband's words (though I shouldn't be surprised) and I will never again question that my prayers for Ethan's health early on weren't meaningful - or answered.

Since that conversation, I've had such a change in perspective when it comes to prayer. I choose to believe that my prayers for our son were extremely meaningful and that each word spoken to the Lord went on to actually bless Ethan in a powerful way.... and will continue to bless him down this road.

I'm sharing this with you so that you find the same type of encouragement that I found when I changed my perspective on what I assumed had been "unanswered prayers". They could have in fact been a significant factor of God's grace and mercy upon the life of my little boy.

Lord, thank you for my wonderful husband and precious son. They are two of the very best gifts you have given to me. Thank you for showing your love for me through them. And thank you that not one single prayer from your children is ever forgotten, misplaced, ignored, or in vain.

_______

p.s. - Be in prayer for Ethan's outpatient visit tomorrow. We need his blood counts to be great! Also be in prayer for some exciting news from Boston regarding the bone marrow search as I will hear from them on Friday with an update.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Beautiful thoughts from you and Adam - thank you. Continuing to pray.

Hollie said...

What a great reminder...sometimes we forget in the midst of our trials! You have an amazing family. Praying everyday!

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your verses and encouraging words! I have often thought the same thing about my prayers not being answered and what a good reminder that God allowed Adam to give us! I have copied some of the verses you have posted and placed them around the house as such a beautiful reminder of God's grace, power, and love! You have been and continue to be in my prayers!
Mandy (Weimann)

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing a personnal conversation between you and your husband. i find this blog a spiritual reminder to me. i've felt that same feeling of being agnored not thinking that my prayer is being answered in a different way. thank you again for your honesty.
michelle from mi

Mimi said...

Dear Kasey,
I was reading Mark 9:23-27 this morning and claimed this for my sweet grandbaby. Mark 9:24 "And straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief."

Rach said...

Kasey,

You probably don't remember me but I went to DBU the same time you did. I have been following your blog and praying for Ethan. As I was sitting here reading it, my 2 1/2 year old son pointed to Ethan and said "big strong baby." It sorta' shocked me because he doesn't know that Ethan is sick. So, I just thought I would share that with you. Keep up the faith...God is in control.

Carrie Comstock said...

What a wise husband you have. :)

Hollie said...

Kasey! I left a reply to your comment on my blog, but I had to come over and leave one yours!

I cannot believe we were neighbors! I grew up in Duncanville!! To think we met through the Internet (I don't remember how I found your blog), then all the stuff with Kylie that you helped me through (more than you will ever know!!) and then we find out we grew up in the same area!! It's a small, small world!

Still praying for sweet Ethan!

huntsouth said...

Praise God for your wise husband and for uniting you as a couple, long before Ethan was born. The Lord prepared you both and then prepared Ethan specially for you. I have learned more through my children than through any other method that the Lord has used to teach me.
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptaion also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.I Corinthians 10:13
We have been fervantly praying. God bless you every day!love, Amy

Mommy of Multiples...Lizzy D. said...

I've been keeping up with your family for a couple months now. Since I saw your link on Hollie's blog. I noticed that you went to DBU freshman year...what year was that? Based on your age sounds like we could have been there around the same time. Anyway, keeping your sweet boy and your family in my prayers.

Sarah said...

WOW!! As I am crying like a baby after reading what Adam told you... thanks so much for sharing! I am currently going through the every 2 hr feedings with Nate as he is 2 weeks old today... but reading what you said is just amazing! I pray for Nate all the time - very similar to what you described... and reading what Adam said to you is just so awesome... I love how he saw a different perspective for precious Ethan! We are keeping y'all in our prayers! Thanks again for sharing!
Love you!
Sarah

Anonymous said...

Thankful for the updates. We are continuing to pray always for sweet Ethan. 1 Thess. 5:16-18 "Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." We love you all. Love, Megan P