Tuesday, August 12, 2008

happy transplant day, ethan!

Today is a day to celebrate! Well, it will probably be more of an actual "celebration" on this day next year... but this day, August 12, 2008 is the day we've been waiting for since April 9 of this year. And the day that will always be cherished in years to come as we look back and reflect on all that God has and will continue do with Ethan's life.

Ethan should be getting his transplant today at 3:00pm (eastern time). The weeks to come will tell us that what we've hoped for has come true. He did end up getting hives overnight, and his skin looks pretty irritated (especially around his face and eyes), but still no fever and no other complications! I also want to mention that his spleen has certainly shrunk in size! The radiation did it's job and that organ needed to get smaller, so Thank you, God! Because it did! Pray specifically for the potential sores/ulcers (called mucositis) that could surface in his mouth, throat, esophagus, digestive tract and his rectal area. They can bleed and also become very painful for Ethan and usually go away about 2 weeks after the transplant. Thank you in advance for your prayers...

I'm not sure what I expected to feel like when "today" finally arrived. I don't know if it's the lack of sleep or a type of acceptance that has settled into my being, but I don't really have a strong emotion one way or another. Just kind of steady.... and I think I prefer that anyway. I think somewhere along this journey, as we got closer to where we are now, I was anticipating some spiritual awakening... a sort of extreme closeness to the Lord that I've never experienced before... But really, I'm the same. And I'm not sure what to think about that. My trust in the promise He's given me about Ethan's healing has never waivered, but I wanted so badly to be completely available to the Lord's work while we had to endure this part of the process... to have a dramatic and powerful change in my relationship with God, and unfortunately, I've just not been able to get out of my own way. My mood, behavior, attitude, outlook... it's all just mediocre. I'm not living each day as if I know the Giver of Life. I'm not tapping into the joy that I know is available to me if I would just reach up and grab it. If you saw me in the elevator going down to grab lunch, you'd probably never even know that I had the hope of Jesus Christ in me.... and that makes me sad. I don't want to waste any aspect of the trial we are having to endure. And I'm upset with myself for not fully grasping all that God is trying to teach and show me.... instead, I resist it. Pray that these weeks are not in vain. Pray that God's purpose is not at all delayed because of my lack of willingness to participate. Pray that our son continues brings Him all the glory He deserves. That we see miracle after miracle and He receives glory upon glory. Pray that the Lord would unlock the chains around my heart that have left me content to just "get by"...

Ethan, your daddy and I are so very proud of you! You're our little 'super boy'! We want you to always know that we love you, and that Jesus loves you so very much. He's certainly got you in the palms of His hands and He's going to do wonderful and mighty things in and through you...

19 comments:

Hollie said...

Kasey, as always, you are doing an amazing job as Ethan's mommy and I am praying you feel complete JOY in your heart! HE KNOWS YOUR HEART!

Thinking about Ethan on this special day and lifting up special prayers that E's body is completely healed! HE is holding you all tightly in His hands! Love & Hugs!

FalkFamily said...

I know that these weeks have not been in vain. Your beautiful words have been inspiration to thousands of people, and all for God's glory. Your testimony has helped me in my walk, and I'm sure I am not alone - so I am positive that these weeks have not been in vain. If you have touched one life, or possibly brought one more person to Christ, you have perhaps done all the work the Lord set out for you through this trial. Maybe you don't feel that "extreme closeness" because the Lord has been this close to you all along.

I will pray for precious Ethan today and that he does not have any of the painful sores as side effects.

Sara said...

Hi Ethan! My four boys and I are praying hard for you today! You are doing such a great job! Keep smiling big for your Mommy and Daddy! Your little life is such a huge witness to the power of our Great God! Praise the Lord! You are blessed with such a meek Momma. I have been encouraged by her strength and humility through your whole sickness. Keep being strong in the Lord! Love and lots of prayer, Sara Rockensock (David, Matthew, Joshua & Timothy :)).

lcodrington said...

Praying earnestly for the A. Krawiec family. Don't let satan tell you that any responses you have had over the last number of months have not been for the glory of God. He is a slick character and will try to work on your emotions. you have told many of the daily goodness of the Lord and His intimate care for every aspect of our lives. you have encouraged folks to pray and reminded us of the importance of seeking the Lord's company minute by minute. Don't let Satan fool you---- the victory is already yours. HAPPY TRANSPLANT DAY!

Carrie Comstock said...

Happy Transplant Day! :) Praying that his little body accepts this cord blood and we see amazing results.

And you know, sometimes you don't see the growth or change or "awakening" until after the fact. Be gentle with yourself. Allow the Lord to love on you and carry you. Continue to remain open and honest. Sometimes we expect to see fireworks, and instead we hear a gentle whisper. And a whisper can be just as precious as, and sometimes even more precious than, the fireworks.

Keep strong, momma. :)

Loads of prayers...

Anonymous said...

Kasey,

You are being too hard on yourself. Anyone who has been reading your blog can see how God is using you and growing you through this difficult ordeal. You are truly an inspiration to so many people that you are not even aware of.

Praying God's perfect will for Ethan as he undergoes this transplant.

Anonymous said...

I think you're "mood" is fitting actually. I think of Ephesians 6, where so many times is says "Stand". "Pray", "Watch", "Stand". They're all very still, almost motionless actions, but actions nonetheless.

You're doing what He asks of you... "be strong in the Lord and the power of His might."... Stand.

God bless you, Kasey, and Adam, and baby Ethan with many, many blessings!

Diedra said...

Hi, I'm Diedra a friend of Linsey's. I just wanted to say, Happy Transplant Day, Ethan! I've been praying for you all and will continue. Praise God for his hand of protection on Ethan!

nancy said...

Kasey,

Don't be so hard on your-self. You have been so strong and inspirational and Ethan is lucky to have you as his mom just as you are lucky to have him.

Once this is all over you'll look back and see that The Lord has been with you all along and that He has made you a stronger and better person.

My prayers are with you, Adam and Ethan.

Amy said...

kasey, you don't know me but amy corbin is a good friend and has shared your site/your story with us, since april. i just wanted you to know how much your honest words mean....even half way across the country. you may feel as tho you are not fully participating in His glory or doing your "part" each day, but i can assure you that you are doing so much more for the Body than you'll ever be able to know!

keep writing, keep pleading, keep your eyes fixed--as they have been--on the Author and Perfector!

HAPPY TRANSPLANT DAY ETHAN!!!

The Queen Diva said...

Kasey, you are in incredbile woman as is your family...it's amazing to see all the God has done in you, through you and with you in this whole ordeal. How we are praising God that He has provided a match for Ethan...and I know that none of this is vain. Your faith and your walk have been challenged and you have grown so in this even if you don't feel it. Many people will come to know the LORD JESUS in watching you deal with this. Isn't that what a relationship with the Lord Jesus is all about...being honest and him giving us what we need and when we need it. Not a moment sooner. It's like riding a bike..we think we can kick off the training wheels..that we dont' need God and we so do!!! And you have been such an inspiration to so many and Jesus is becoming real to people as they pray and wait and watch with you. And even in spite of our doubt and questions and fears..God keeps answering. He loves you and your family so. I am praying for your baby boy to be cancer free..and instead filled to overflowing the very presence of the our very present help in our time of need..none other than the LORD Jesus!!! Here here. Thank you for being real and honest and sharing your heart with all of us. What an incredible gift this is!!!! For all of us to be reminded that as followers of Christ, we have different coping tools than those that do not KNOW him. Cling to what you know is true. Hugs to you.

Moz and Pam said...

Thank you for your transparency, Kasey. You are truly a humble & meek Christian. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone watching & reading your blog can see how much you've grown through this trial. You are showing us all how God gives his perfect peace. Thank you for that. God doesn't always speak loudly. Listen for His still, small voice. He is ever present with you. He's holding all three of you in the hollow of His hand. Praying for you as always!

Anonymous said...

Hi Adam & Kasey,

How awesome that this day has arrived. Your faith is inspiring, and it will be rewarded by our AWESOME Lord.

My wife and I will continue to pray for Ethan's complete healing. But also, that God would do amazing things in and through Ethan's life.

I leave you with this cherished verse:
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

God can do all things, despite who we are, or we grasp what is he is trying to do.

continued blessings.

Rigo & Cindi

Anonymous said...

Praying for all of you all day today, and sending lots of love your way.

Mrs. Rogers

Kara VanDyne said...

I just want you to know that I am still praying and still excited about what God will do in and through you and Ethan!

Thank you once again for sharing your heart with all of us!

Greg, Alissa & Luke said...

We are praying and are anxious to hear how everything goes. Little Ethan is just precious.

Natalie Ezelle said...

Kasey, I think you have demonstrated immense strength throughout all this. Today does mark a very important day in the life of the Krawiec family. But, as you requested I will continue to pray that God will give you strength, grace, power, and will renew your spirit daily. Just keep being the amazing mom and woman of faith that you have been. God is doing wonderful things through each of you!

Love,
Nat

Leah said...

Hey Kasey,
I've just been thinking about all of you, tyring to think of a way to encourage you, even if it is just half as much as you have me. All i can think of is the day when Ethan gets old enough where he can read this blog himself. He is going to think THERE MUST BE A GOD. I see HIM!!! I see HIM in my mom!!! Because if there were ever a person who you could truly see God in, you are truly on that list. Thank you, Kasey. Lord willing, Ethan will rise up and call you blessed and he will praise God for the blessing that his parents are to him. Not everyone would have the stength to get through this extrememly hard trial and on top of that share their inermost feelings with the world. We are praying for you in VA.
Your friend,
Leah (Benard) Moore

Go Ethan, Go!!!! Thank you for letting us celebrate this day with you!

Elizabeth said...

Kasey,and Adam don't be so hard on yourself. You have been so strong and inspirational and Ethan is so very happy to have you and Adam as his parents just as you too are very,very happy to have him.. My family and I will continue to pray for Ethan's complate healing. And i know that GOD would do amazing things and through Ethan's life. Seanding all three of you alots of love & big tight hugs...
Happy Transplant Day Ethan!!!
Love,
Elizabeth & Family