Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Last day of chemo for this round

Today Ethan will get his final bag of chemo for this round/session. Then he will be observed a few days for possible side effects. One side effect has already surfaced... "fissures" (tears) around his rectum. I noticed blood in his diaper when I was changing him yesterday and we weren't sure if it was an intestinal problem or not... but then the doctor looked a little deeper and saw about 3 tears in the inner area that were causing the bleeding. We have to take several extra steps when changing his diaper to cleanse and treat the painful area. Be in prayer for his little bottom to be healed and that he won't get an infection from any bacteria getting stuck in there. His eyes haven't shown signs of swelling (yay!), so continue to pray that they don't. And he isn't showing any mouth sores (which is great!), so continue to pray for that as well. The hospital staff has continued to be so great to us and to Ethan. I'm so appreciative of all of the nurses and the doctors. They really care about our cutie and I'm so thankful for them. But, I'm really looking forward to going back home for a few days, so hopefully there are no hiccups with that. We still haven't heard from Boston about our consultation appointment, so one of the docs here is going to reach out to them to try and "light a fire". I'll close today's post with a poem that was sent to us via email. And as always, thank you so much for your prayers for us and for Ethan. We love you all.

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate...
and the Master so gently said,"Wait."
"Wait? you say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.
My future and all to which I relate
hangs in the balance and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes', a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.
You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.
Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting...for what?"
He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine...
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.
I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.
You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me
When darkness and silence are all you can see.
You'd never experience the fullness of love
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.
The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.
You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.
So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".
- by Russell Kelfer (thank you, Jen)


Northcutt Family said...

Hi there, I'm a friend of Hollie's and came across your blog and just wanted you to know that I'm praying for your sweet family and precious son. I'm so sorry to hear about this ordeal that you're going through and pray that it passes and Ethan is completely healed.

Dad & Mom K said...

We continue to pray for strength for you and Adam, and healing for our precious grandbaby.
Malachi 4:2 "But unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings; and ye shall go forth, and grow up as calves of the stall." We love all of you.
Dad & Mom K

Janelle & Ella said...

This is an amazing poem! I am so glad you shared it! I am going to print it and hang it by my desk. I'm in prayer for his tears. I'm so sorry about that. And prayer for the Boston consultation to be soon!

Hollie said...

Oh my, Kasey! I so needed to read that! Thank you for posting...I am going to have to read that over and over again. The past 6 days seem like eternity and I needed a reminder to 'WAIT'!

I am on my knees praying for sweet Ethan. I feel like I have gotten to know your family from this experience and I want to so badly pick up Ethan and just love on him so! He is an absolute ANGEL! I am praying so hard for his little bottom to heal without causing any infection and of course for the pain to lessen. Still praying that no mouth sores show up and praying hard that someone is able to get the ball rolling with the consult.

You have been on my heart and mind. As always, I continue to draw strength from you!

Praying without ceasing!!!

Anonymous said...

Let Go & Let God:

It is ok to have your down, bad days. You are only human. You are a strong wife & Mother and don't ever forget that. You have so many people praying for your family.

It is "God's Will" that will be done. As the poem says "wait". He does not always give us what we want, when we want it. Just know that family, friends and people that you never met before are praying for all three of you.

Keep on believing!

Anonymous said...

Hi Kasey,
You all are continually in our prayers. The Lord is stretching and molding you. He has great plans for your family and has used Ethan in so many ways. Keep looking up towards Him. Thank you for your honesty. You are such a testimony and blessing to so many others. We miss you. Have a wonderful day and know the Lord is holding you in the palms of HIS hands. Love Sharan

Linsey said...

Kasey, you hang in there.

Megan said...

"Do not lose the courage you had in the past, which has a great reward. You must hold on, so you can do what God wants and receive what he has promised." Hebrews 10:35-36
I am sure it is hard to stay strong day in and day out. Please allow yourself to feel weak with us, we are here to hold you up and not let you fall. I will say a prayer for you as well as Ethan and Adam. You guys are constantly on my heart. We love you all. Take care of yourself so you can take care of Ethan.Tomorrow is a new day.
God Bless you Kasey!

Kari said...

Beautifully put.....we should all print that poem and post it where we could read it everyday. I love you so much, and I can't wait to hug your neck next week!! Praying that you get some rest. Kiss Ethan's sweet cheeks for his Aunt Kari and Uncle Jason. :)