Thursday, May 1, 2008

First Experiences

It's amazing how you pay more attention to things when you're faced with certain realities. How many times did I drive with Ethan in the car before we found out about his leukemia. How many times did Adam, me and Ethan drive around to various destinations and not think twice about it. But all of a sudden those small things have become so much more important... more valuable... because we now understand just how precious one day can be. Just this morning I was thinking about the truth behind the saying "Each day is a gift". Yes, it is! When I woke up this morning, I got one more day to be Ethan's mom and Adam's wife. Two pieces of who I am that I treasure more than anything else. People tell us that they would not be able to handle what we're enduring with regard to Ethan's illness. True, it's not ideal to randomly find out that your (at that time, 11 week old) son has a rare, life-threatening form of leukemia... and that even with successful treatment, his chances of long-term survival are 50/50. And if someone had told me this was going to happen before it did, I am quite sure I would have melted. But when it DOES happen to you, you realize (maybe for the first time) how true God's Word becomes.

For instance:

"A peace that passes understanding".... No, it doesn't make sense that Adam and I can get out of bed each morning, let alone function or laugh.... but we do, and we can.... because there really is a peace that goes beyond what you understand.

"My grace is sufficient for thee".... You don't think you could endure someone else's trial, but that's because it's not your trial. If it were your son, daughter, wife, or husband, you'd do whatever you need to do and you'd be able to do it because God gives you the grace and strength at the very time in which you need it. That has been extremely true for me and Adam.

"I will not leave thee or forsake thee".... Never have we felt alone during this process. Yes, we have felt weak, tired, worried, frustrated, or sad... but never have we lacked for support, encouragement, or love. God has revealed Himself many times, and often through each of you.

"Fearfully and wonderfully made".... The Lord brought that verse to me several times while I was pregnant with Ethan. Each time I heard it or read it, I was calmed from whatever anxiety I was facing as a first time mom, because I knew that God was working out all the details in Ethan's body and that he would be just as God wanted him to be. Even now, people send me that verse and I'm reminded that the disease of leukemia is not defining Ethan. God defined him long before we found out he was sick. Ethan was made with the loving and wonderful touch of God Himself. He may seem "broken" to us because of his disease, but he's not.... he is fearfully and wonderfully made.... and was made especially and perfectly for me and Adam.

Another day to be Ethan's mom and Adam's wife...
What a great day.

Speaking of today... Ethan had several "first" experiences... not that he's really aware of them, but he will be one day! Well, his first ice cream trip started last night. The 3 of us went for an ice cream run. Adam ran in and got us some goodies and we ate it in the car. I was half tempted to dip the very tip of Ethan's pacifier in my strawberry goodness, but he was asleep... and I thought he'd have plenty of time to develop bad eating habits (no need to start it too soon!). And then today, we went for our mommy & son drive. Mommy stopped to get a breakfast sandwhich - drive thru of course - and then we were off! He played with his hands and smiled for a while, then cried, then fell asleep. But it was great.



Our first stop was at the recreational entrance of the Farmington River. I tried to fit his car seat into a kayak, but it wouldn't fit. I'm kidding, but I did tell him that one day we would go tubing/kayaking down that river. I have several wonderful memories of doing that back in Texas with my family.



Then I showed him a tribute to those that died for our country in World War II - he fell asleep at that point. I fear this is a prediction that history may not be one of his favorite subjects.



Then we came back home.... but not before mommy got some Sweet Tea from McDonald's. It was simple, but great. Not the tea, but the morning. Although, the tea was really good, too.

We go back to the hospital tomorrow for our next outpatient visit. Be in prayer that Ethan's blood counts continue to be good, that we can come back home, and that they have some updated information for us about a donor.

And just in case you didn't know, YOU, just by reading this, are a blessing to us!

24 comments:

Your Husband said...

Kasey,

You amaze me every day and I'm so lucky to have you as a wife. I'm constantly thinking of you and Ethan and love you both so much.

Adam

Carrie Comstock said...

You made me laugh out loud about the kayak. :)

Glad you had a good day with your boy!
Hugs,
Carrie

Hollie said...

Your doing such an amazing job! Ethan & Adam are so very blessed to have you as mommy/wife!!

Still praying!

Moz & Pam said...

Psa 118:24
"This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
So glad you got to enjoy and rejoice in a perfectly normal day with your son! We'll keep praying for all of you!

Megan said...

I can never read this without crying my eyes out wether it's happiness or sadness. God Bless your family. I feel so blessed to be apart of this. Even though I do not know you all I feel so incredibly blessed to know Ethan, Adam and you through this blog. I truly feel God is speaking to me through your story. I look up to the faith you have. When I get stressed out and tired with my 11 month old then read this all my patience comes rushing back and you (God) reminds me to be thankful for all the little things. Ethan is constantly in our prayers. I believe and can see this miracle transforming right infront of all of us. Thank you for sharing your precious son with us. Anything you need we are here.
Love,
Megan
Washington State

Heather said...

I'm so glad that you were able to have a great drive with Ethan! I pray for many more drives and for the ability to be able to actually eat in McDonalds while he plays in the playland! Keeping you all in our prayers!

Anonymous said...

what a blessing you are thru these blogs and what an example of what a loving and godly mom should be. thank you for having faith, godliness, true love, endurance, courage, and eyes upon God. again, God does not allow something to happen in our lives for just one reason. look at how many people who are being touched by your circumstances. Praise God! someday i would love to meet you and have our children play together. and sweet tea is the best! some of us more godly people up here in the north like it too! lol :)
michelle from michigan. STILL PRAYING!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Greg, Ashley, Caedmon and Abigail Sovereign said...

A friend told me about your blog and need for prayer. In my bible study the other day we were talking about people that were "full of Jesus" so much so that when you bump into them you can't help but "get some" too. Let me tell you that I just "got me some Jesus" by reading some of your posts!

I had also to laugh ...I just got a McD's sweet tea today too! I live in Philly (but SC born and raised) so they are few and far between!

Love, Prayers, and Southern Hugs around your neck...

Ashley

carleigh said...

the kayak thing made me laugh, too. i read the sentence twice, then read on to see that you were kidding!! glad to see that your sense of humor hasn't left you! and i still can't wait to come see you someday- i guess i need to start saving now with all the prices going up!

Anonymous said...

Kasey & Adam.
Zechariah 8:6 reminds us, what seems unbelievable to us is no great thing for God. We are so proud of both of you.
Love,
Mom & Dad K.

Anonymous said...

Kasey,
I read your blog every day and I can't tell you what a blessing you have been to me! You remind me day in and day out of Gods faithfulness, goodness, strength and mercy! You remind me to be thankful for the daily blessings that I used to take for granted. Your faith has increased my faith! I truly believe that a miracle is going to happen, and I count it a privilege to witness it through your blog. Kasey, God is using you in ways you will never know! Keep up your awesome testimony!
Zach and Cathy Lang

Anonymous said...

Dear Kasey,
So glad to hear you had an "ordinary day". Ethan looks great. He is soooo cute. You haven't lost your sense of humor.
We are continually praying and will think of you during tom. visit. Can't wait to hear what happened. Have a great evening. Sharan

Anonymous said...

Kasey and Adam,
Your family has been in my prayers since I found out about all that Ethan is facing. Just reading a small portion of your blog has been an encouragement to me to see your faith in our AMAZING God. We will continue to pray for your precious boy, as well as for both of you.
Laura Shaver

Anonymous said...

Dear Kasey, Adam and Sweet BabyEthan,
May the Lord bless you and protect you. May the Lord smile on you and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor and give you peace each day. Number 6:24-26

Let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will
receive his mercy, and we will find his grace to help us when we
need it most. Hebrews 4:16

Your friend in Christ!

Anonymous said...

Kasey,

You are more amazing today than when I met you in Addison, TX for an interview...5 years ago this month.

You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

Pete

Anonymous said...

Kasey,
You crack me up! I thought you have finaylly lost it...put sweet Ethan in the kayak! I actually read it twice and then read on! I am glad you two had a great "mommy and baby" day!

Amber King

FalkFamily said...

You all are in my prayers many, many times a day. Every day I read your posts and am inspired to be a better mother, wife and most importantly follower of God. You have an absolutely darling little one. God bless all 3 of you and your families.

Janelle & Ella said...

Thank you for helping me be thankful for the little things. I think of you guys often throughout the day while we are doing the smallest thing and I am thankful that I have a reminder that we are blessed just to be together in whatever we are doing.

P.S. The comment from your husband made me cry. :-)

Anonymous said...

That sounds like a great day! I wish I could enjoy my car rides like you :) My mom always says if you get excited about the little things, then you get to be excited more often. And through your pain, faith, and strength; you are an example to us all. I had multiple people here in Texas want to know if they could bring you dinner or help you in any way, of course they had no clue that you were thousands of miles away! You are such a blessing and encouragement to everyone who reads your blog. I am so glad that you are keeping up with it so faithfully. I check your blog daily and am always uplifted by your reflection of each day. Stay strong, and encouraged in the Lord. And know that He is using you to bless others.

Brandy

Curt Dunn said...

What a terribly boring blog this is. Always full of "this is how the Lord has blessed me today" and "what a wonderful God we serve" and "I am so thankful to be a part of this family" and blah, blah, blah. Enough already. If I wanted to be encouraged and challenged about life, I would watch Oprah.

With my tongue firmly embedded in my cheek...

CWD

Kasey (Ethan's Mommy) said...

A disclaimer by the author of this blog... for those of you who do not know Curt, he was trying to spark a laugh within our little household... and it worked! Have no fear, he is not an Oprah follower, and actually loves our family very much. He is a nut, though!

kim weber said...

I am not sure which made me chuckle more....the potential kayak ride on the freezing cold Farmington River or Curts tongue.....hmmmm
Continually praying and rejoicing in your normal days.
Love, Kim

Anonymous said...

Found your blog through Lori Grannis (went to church with her when we lived in Texas). I have been praying for you and your sweet baby boy. I will continue to pray for you all. Love - Alisha