update on my boys

Thank you all for praying for our little family.

I'll start with the hubby.

Adam's appointment with the surgeon went well. The doctor did a basic analysis of Adam's hand/finger movements and Adam seemed to have responded well. He will be having surgery this Thursday in an effort to repair the nerve damage (not much can be done about the severed artery). The doc seemed to think that Adam would be able to have almost all of his function & feeling back in his hand - which is great news. We're not sure what his actual recovery will look like at this point, though. The doctor will know more when he's able to look inside the wound during the surgery on Thursday. Please be in prayer that he finds no "surprises" during the procedure and that the surgery is successful, with no complications. My mom will be able to stay with Ethan so that I can go with Adam to his outpatient surgery. Be in prayer that nothing crazy randomly pops up with Ethan that would keep me from being able to do this.

Now for the baby.

Ethan's appointment in Boston went well. His fluctuating low-grade fever seems to have subsided for now. We're assuming teething to be the culprit, but it doesn't matter the cause if the temp gets up to 100.4 he has to go to the ER for antibiotics regardless. Thankfully, this didn't have to happen over the weekend. All of his blood work showed an increase in number which is great and overall he's doing well. The rash is thought to be a result of his body still in the "accepting phase" of the donor cord blood. The prayer is obviously that it goes away, but also that it doesn't get any worse. His face and head are quite covered with these little red bumps and blotchy red patches. There is one area of concern right now that's more important than the rest. Ethan's potassium level is quite high. If potassium in your body hits dangerous levels it can cause problems and damage to certain organs, etc. He's about 2 points shy of hitting that level so your prayers for this would mean a lot to me. The assumption is that his new antibiotic is causing the problem, so we're doing a "test" this week to see if the theory is correct. Pray that we find the cause of the elevation and that we can get it back under control without much problem. Other than that, our little trooper is doing very well.

And for the mommy?

Well, to say that I wish there were no more curve balls in our life for a long while, would be an understatement. I won't lie. Even though there is significant amounts of good in our lives, there is still so much of this that is, at times, difficult to endure. The daily care Ethan requires for his transplant recovery can be quite taxing. I can find myself frustrated & exhausted at the routines & restrictions that no family would like to know as well as we do. I have moments where all I want to do is scream. I have moments when all I want to do is cry. And then I have moments where I realize there's so much I am thankful for. I could go on, but I imagine I'd just be saying the same thing over and over. The bottom line for me is that unfortunately I've been made intimately aware that disease, freak accidents, things you'd never invite to be a part of your ideal "life" - are unfortunately possible. And there's a fear that lurks into your being when you've been exposed to those things that leave you asking "what's next", assuming (like only fear can do to you) that there's "worse" waiting for you around the corner. It's a dangerous mindset to let yourself sink into. It's a deep pit. And though it's easy to trip and fall into it, thankfully (thankfully!), there's a Ladder. He is the Ladder. God Himself. And He makes a way for you to escape the pit of fear, no matter how many times you fall into it. And lately, I've been falling into it quite a lot. But by His grace, He never lets me stay there for long. My self-pity, my paralyzing worry, my scared mind - stops - just long enough for me to hear Him say,

"My grace is sufficient for you..."