thank you for praying

Adam's surgery went well. It took quite a bit longer than we were initially expecting, but that's because when the surgeon opened up his hand (from the stitches the ER set for him last week) he noticed that Adam had indeed cut the tendon running through his index finger, in addition to a major nerve. The tendon and nerve were able to be repaired, but the artery couldn't be fixed - but we already knew that. Thankfully there are two arteries in your index finger, and he only cut one. Because if he had cut both, he'd have lost the finger. So when the doctor said that, I really didn't have a comment, other than, "oh..." (long pause) "okay"..... (long pause) "uh that's a decent amount of perspective, huh". (not my finest moment in adult conversation, but what can I say... I was a bit stunned and thankful that stupid pickle jar didn't slice open both of those arteries! Anyway, back to the point. So the surgery went well. He did say that the way the tendon was injured, Adam will need quite a bit of physical therapy to help it heal correctly. Another surgery may be necessary down the road if his mobility doesn't regain itself completely, but we're going to pray against that needing to happen, (right?)! Adam was in quite a deal of pain when they moved him into recovery, so we were there for a couple of hours as they tried to get his pain level down. He's much more comfortable now, however, it's a different story when those pain meds wear off. All in all, he's doing well. He wanted me to tell you all a big THANK YOU for your prayers for him today. He certainly felt them...

As for Ethan.... well, I'm very happy (and thankful!) to report that his potassium level did in fact go down! We need this to continue over the next several weeks, but it's a blessing to me that it went down since Monday. But.... (don't you hate it when there's a but?!?) his sodium level also showed a very low number - which is not good. Low sodium can indicate kidney problems and cause seizures. I have to take him back up to the hospital tomorrow (Friday) to have his blood work re-done to ensure it wasn't an error from the lab. Since the number is much lower than usual, they are hoping it's just a fluke and that the re-test will show it to be fine (pray that it's a fluke!). However, (don't you hate howevers?!?!) if his sodium is in fact that low, he will have to be admitted for IV fluids and to have tests run to see what causing the sodium deficiency.

Needless to say, this probability did not make me happy. Spending the weekend in the hospital with Ethan, while Adam is at home alone still recovering from a pretty intense surgery... *sigh*... well, doesn't it make sense that I just want to stay home. Of course. I do. And I can't tell you how much anxiety there is at the thought/reality that at any given moment, for any given reason Ethan could be admitted again. I want so much for all of this to be behind us. To focus on Ethan being a little boy and concentrate on his development, milestones, growth. But unfortunately, most of his life, those things have had to take the back seat to a disease that I don't even feel like typing out right now. And yes, don't get me wrong, he has done AMAZINGLY and MIRACULOUSLY well (thank you, Jesus!). And I'm so thankful I could cry! But right now, I'm just an emotionally worn out chick who feels like feeling sorry for herself. Who is letting the thoughts of all that's been taken away from her (being a first time mom & wanting to experience certain things) get the best of her... instead of focusing on all that she's been given.

But don't worry... I've already told the Lord I'm sorry for my attitude.