**UPDATED AUGUST 24, 2012** - this blog is now several years old, and thankfully Ethan has been fully healed of his JMML leukemia diagnosis. 2008 into 2009 was a rough year, but we survived it, and you would never know, looking at Ethan today, that he was EVER a sick baby. He has been in full remission since his bone marrow/cord blood transplant in 2008 and still going strong. I've left the contents of this blog open for those of you who may encounter the same news that makes your world stand still. If that's you, then find hope, strength and faith within these blog entries. We got about the worst news you can get with a leukemia diagnosis. Less than 20% chance of survival. And only a 50/50 chance with a successful course of treatment. Most of his treatment was "trial and error" and clinical trials.... so trust me, we heard it all. BUT through God's grace, we overcame it all too.

Please find encouragement through my raw emotions, details, and all of the experiences we faced, and know that you're not alone! And to make it easier for you, scroll down and look on the right side of the blog for the "previous posts" section and start from the beginning (April 2008). And if you let me know about your own journey, I promise to pray for you/your family to have the same miracle we have had: kasey_krawiec (at) yahoo (dot) com.

Do not lose hope. It seems like a mountain that is incapable of being climbed. But you can do it. I promise. One step at a time. One day at a time. God's strength truly is enough.

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August 12, 2009

We've Moved!

Well... so to speak. I decided to follow the wonderful suggestions I received, and I've started a new blog for our family. You can now find us at http://www.thekrawiecwindow.blogspot.com/

I love Ethan's blog to pieces!! It will forever hold a special place in my heart. And I intend to leave it up so that our journey... our trial... can continue to encourage others as they encounter similar situations in their lives. The message of God's grace and hope is the story of Ethan's Journey. And that story will forever live on and become a part of Ethan's (and our) testimony. But I've been inspired to start a new chapter in our "story".

Thus, a new blog was born.

As you may know, today is the one year anniversary of Ethan's bone marrow (aka: cord blood transplant). So much was endured at this time last year. For Ethan and for our family. I remember it full well. But so much has been gained as well. What a year! Ethan embodies the word "miracle" more than anything I've ever experienced before in my life. Truly Amazing.

One year ago, he had no hair (thanks to the chemo), was on about a thousand medications that were rough on his little 9 month old body, not to mention the radiation, more chemo, stuck in a hospital bed for months on end... and the list goes on... BUT today... one year later.... He's just had his first official hair cut, he's walking and babbling all of the time (he's louder than any other kid I know, as a matter of fact!), he's 5 MONTHS away from his 2nd birthday, down to only ONE medication, and he's both impatient and adorable as they come! Not to mention the picture of health!

So as you can imagine, we're celebrating today. Amazed at God today. And thanking Him for all of you today! Your prayers and encouragement leave me humbled EVERY single time I reflect on it all. I don't know that I could have maintained the faith I desired to have, without your support along the way. God used you in more ways that you know. Even if we've never met, written to each other, or if I've never directly heard from you. He used you still. Every prayer spoken on our behalf, whether it was once, or one hundred. THANK YOU. I owe you more than I could repay.

I owe Him more than I could repay.... Thankfully, He already knew that.

Use this blog however the Lord leads, if He leads at all. I know many parents get the shock of their lives, immediately and unexpectedly. Too many, in fact. We've been there. And as I'm typing this, I'm praying that God would use Ethan's Journey in ways that would bring comfort to the hurting... just as we were comforted.

Ethan: One year in remission - and counting!

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Because of Christ...
there is beauty for ashes

strength for fear

gladness for mourning

hope for despair

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Psalm 31:24
Be of good courage,

and He shall strengthen your heart,

all you who hope in the LORD.

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Psalm 33: 20-22

Our soul waits for the LORD;

He is our help and our shield.

For our heart shall rejoice in Him,

Because we have trusted in His holy name.

Let Your mercy, O LORD, be upon us,

Just as we hope in You.

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You can now find us here: www.thekrawiecwindow.blogspot.com

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um...forget I said that....

I'm borderline speechless at this point. But I'm never speechless for long, so by the time I finish typing this sentence I'll be back on track! Listen... I'm sorry. So VERY sorry to cause some of you mild heart attacks at when I said I was going to stop the blog.

YOU GUYS & GALS ARE SUCH SWEETIE PIES!

I took Ethan to my hubby's office and several adorable ladies were angry with me for even thinking about stopping Ethan's updates here (just kidding!!!). They were sweet, sweet ladies that were genuinely saddened by the idea.

I had no idea...

Then I had emails. Even a text message! From others who were brokenhearted by the idea.

Seriously. I had no idea. And I'm sorry to make some of you sad! That's not what I want. I honestly thought it was "necessary" for some reason to bring closure to Ethan's journey here online. Maybe you all were tired of reading about us. Maybe there was nothing more to say.

But after all this feedback, I gotta tell you, I've been mildly convicted about all of this. Of course there is more to say! Ethan's ALIVE AND WELL! And how often do we not only get to hear about a happy ending, but actually live through it with someone, as well. And each of you have. You've lived through this with us and it makes complete sense to me that many of you want to continue "seeing" Ethan grow, develop, and live. The unending miracle. And listen to me, I would not want to rob anyone of such hope! Because ultimately, that's the point of Ethan's life. A message of Hope and the power of God. So I don't want to cut that message short by any means!

So if you're on board, I will keep typing, sharing, posting pictures and so forth!

Because there's certainly more to our story. More to Ethan's Journey. More to the miracle that's yet to be untold. And so, there's no need to close the doors on that - especially since there's some sweet souls out there that have followed us this far, and WANT to continue to be a part of Ethan's life... our lives.

I thank you for that. And I think you're AWESOME!

So.... be back soon. The blog will live on. So you can turn that frown upside down, grab some coffee (or if you're like me, some diet dr. pepper) and I'll be back on Wednesday for Ethan's transplant anniversary!

Bear one another’s burdens,

and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

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Hear, O LORD, and have mercy on me; LORD, be my helper!”

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

You have put off my sackcloth and

clothed me with gladness,

to the end that my glory may sing praise to You

and not be silent. O LORD my God,

I will give thanks to You forever.

Psalm 30:10-12

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I've been reflecting the last few weeks - quite a bit actually - about many things going on in our lives. Particularly the "next steps" the Lord is taking our family. For almost a year and a half we've been through a trial that was unimaginable. But through that trial we've seen our lives change through God's grace that would not have otherwise been accomplished. And the touching part to me is how many lives have likewise been touched through this journey. It might sound strange, but my spirit is often quieted by the thought that the Lord may have used what we've gone through with Ethan to help encourage someone else in a similar or possibly even completely different trial in their own lives. And I can easily tear up thinking about you dear families who have taught your children to pray for "baby Ethan". What must it be like for Jesus to see the innocence of a child praying for another child, that they probably will never meet this side of heaven.

I truly can't thank you enough for such a gift.

I started this blog in April of 2008 as a place where I could update family and friends about the ever-changing information we were getting about Ethan's cancer diagnosis. And through this medium, my life has forever been changed by the kindness and generosity of so many. You've encouraged us time and time again. Your prayers, your notes, your gifts... simply put, your thoughtfulness towards us, through Christ, has made a lasting impact on us and I look forward to the day to share it all with Ethan. To tell him the wonders of his life. The sweet baby who touched even strangers in ways that caused them to pray for him every day. The full story of the never-ending miracle.

I look forward to the day he knows the love and grace of the Lord. And the answered prayers He's poured out, continuously, on Ethan's life.

Tomorrow marks the one year anniversary since Ethan was admitted to Boston Children's Hospital for his bone marrow transplant, after months and months of chemo here in Connecticut. And I've been debating/thinking/praying about what the Lord would have me do with this blog. It's been very hard for me to transition out of this mindset of "but what if"... but I feel it's time that I move fully and whole-heartedly into such transition. I've not wanted to let go of Ethan's blog for fear that if his cancer were to return, I'd lose all my lovely followers and their generous prayers over his life. But, as odd as this may sound, I think it's the final step of faith I need to take regarding Ethan's healing. I need to be willing to have no other crutch, other than dependency on God. Standing fully on His promise....

Ethan's transplant actually took place on August 12, and in nine days we will be celebrating the one year anniversary of that blessed day. The day my baby's cancer-ridden blood was replaced by the miraculous life-giving blood of a donor. I believe that will be the last post I make here. It will be an emotional one for me, that's for sure! Much like this one. But it will be a beautiful close and tribute to Ethan's miracle, God's power, and your kindness.

I don't want to erase the site, because I want it to be an on-going encouragement however God sees fit. We get "google" hits all the time for people searching for "prayers for baby boys" or "children with cancer", so I want the message of our miracle to continue to share the Lord's grace. And I'm very excited about what I found on http://www.thecutestblogontheblock.com/. Through that fantastic website, I can turn my blog into a book/journal form so that I can keep it in a tangible way and give it to Ethan to read one day. As well as continue to read and re-read over the years, myself!

I have more to say, but I'll save it for next time. Ironically, Ethan's next doctor's appointment in Boston is tomorrow - the anniversary of his admission date last year - I would love your prayers for yet another good report! It's amazing to us how well Ethan continues to do. He's a beautiful, smart, energetic boy. Our blessing in ever sense of the word.

My cup runneth over, indeed.

...... And the child grew, and the Lord blessed him.

Judges 13:24